"My goal is to enter high school."

Hung above the chalkboard in the second grade class of the junior high are pages with one student's wish or dream written on them (much like you might find in a more decorative way at a Shinto shrine). Most of these wishes and dreams are extremely humble by American standards. One wished "to pass the second grade test," another dreamed to "be a police officer," and one simply wanted to become "a beautiful woman." Then one wants to be a nurse, another a lawyer. But of all, the most illuminating may be the one in the title of this post. For here in Japan one must test into high school, one is not automatically accepted. This is a rigorous process, more difficult in some ways than the entry requirements for American colleges which may only require that the student has taken an ACT or SAT and does not decline a student if his/her score is very low. Here students are completely sorted by their abilities on these tests. Their tests will decide where they can attend high school.

The two most unusal wishes to me are "to give people hope" and "My dream is to find the dream." I thought the latter, which was written by a quiet student named Ryuichi Hirata, is particularly clever.

This morning during a morning assembly where some students were handed awards for their good work on kanji proficiency tests I was reminded of another thing that I never had to do when I was in middle school. Here it seems like nearly every student takes these standardized tests (even in elementary school) and individuals differ dramatically in their abilities. It just shows that the language aquisition here isn't a gimme, it is something that takes hard work and dedication, and additionally, a system of institutional rites in order to encourage/support this hard work and dedication.

Now that I have finished, for the time being, my own formal education, has the structure of my changed so much? Do I still not work under the same assumptions and guidelines that lead me through every year at school? Do I still not function on a yearly/semester-long basis, always trying to plan and make something solid each time? Perhaps there are better ways to ask these questions.

"My dream is to find the dream" may be a good way to turn our heads to, although this was probably not the intended interpretation of the sentence, one of the most major questions that arrives to a thoughtful person. It is not good enough just to dream, one must search inside one's dreams for something deeper, for the reason why one dreams at all. Unfortunately for the thoughtful person, these answers don't seem to exist. They break down into abstract feelings, emotions, and social forces that, all together, can create the illusion that there are concrete reasons why you have certain dreams or goals.

Ask yourself the question "why do you strive for the things you strive for?" and perhaps you will see what I am talking about. If you reply, "because I want to," you are being quite honest. If you reply "because all of the forces in my life (including my friends, family, and loved ones) make me feel as though I want to," then you may be answering even more honestly. Ideally you would want to honestly be able to answer "because I want to help the world," "because I want to help people who are suffering," "because I want to save the environment." However accurate these answers would be in your mind, in the complex web of social interactions in your life, as well as your past and the memories thereof, the true reasons why you strive for certain things would be much more dynamic and multi-faceted. One would part would be to fulfill your commitment to your parents or guardians, one would be to impress/help your friends, another would be to be good to your dog or the person on the street you don't know. Then there may also be the simple desire to feel good, to feel happiness flowing through your veins. But you cannot do that without paying attention to those social responsibilities your life has accrued.

Probably Ryuichi's sentence "My dream is to find a dream" means that he wants to actually have a dream but he doesn't yet. I feel his pain. Life almost requires the kind of automation that is propelled by social institutions like schools in order for that kind of dream to be perpetuated and advanced toward, but even then dreams do not necessarily appear in our minds.

When the world starts to feel disintegrated and confused is when the dreams cannot find a holding place in the mind. This is a good argument for establishing social order (and personal order), but then you would still be faced with the philosophical unsoundness of dreams if you were willing to step into the disorder and look around for a while. Perhaps it is a matter of not asking too many questions.

What are your thoughts, dear friend?