I am at Fukuoka Airport now. My supervisor, Nakamura Yuusuke, his father, and his youngest daughter drove me and helped me get my bags checked. Now I have just a few minutes left before I board the plane.
Part of me wants more time in Japan. But I guess I fear what I could become (another foreigner teaching English for money) and I fear what I wouldn't become.... Some people say that fear is a bad thing. I mostly disagree. Fear is one of the most important elements of our intelligence. Without proper fear we would surely lose. It is only the stupid fears that we must fear, the wrong fears (then we must fear fear itself...).
I know that I am leaving an amazing country where the culture is both extremely precise and extremely down-to-earth (they even sit on the floor with no shoes on during meals). I know that this place has so much less crime than most of the continental U.S.. I know that the people here are unparalleled in their niceness. Still I must leave, or still I am leaving. (And yet I have the option to return as I have a return ticket... and didn't give up my Alien Card).
I learned Japanese in a strange way. I put down the books, gave up on the mathematical way of learning the language, and just spoke and listened. So the Japanese I do know is the Japanese that was most important for me to know. I feel very good about my Japanese and am very happy that this year allowed me to learn it in such a way.
What else... the clock is ticking. I will be in Taipei today for around 8 hours. I am either going to try to tour the city or write some things; either would be fruitful and useful for me. I imagine that someday I might have a more lengthy chance to visit the big, hot city, and today my main goal is getting back to my island home in Kihei.
Nakamura's mother (obachan as I call her (grandma)) asked me again why I was leaving. I said "family" and she understood well. But I also felt as though I had family right in front of me when I said that, so I felt just a little guilty.
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