Sunday, March 26, 2006

on being an illiterate


So what's it like to not be able to understand, to speak, to read the language that is used all around you? What's it like to be an employee in an office where everyone speaks a language you don't understand, all the time?

It's like being an infant again, except without the blessing of not always being aware of your own shortcomings, your own lack of complete humanity. It's frustrating, aggravating, non-sensical. Why would anyone hire someone who is completely illiterate and then expect them to be able to stand the same intensely close-quarters of the Japanese teacher's room (a room like in any corporate office, but smaller and stuffier) in which the normal, literate teachers work? Also there is the fact that they give me very little in terms of teaching responsibilities, but that is a well known downside of the JET program (for many, but not all ALTs).

It, of course, helps that I love just about all the individuals in this room. But all together, spending hours in this room where I have little power to contribute to, or even comprehend, most of the numerous conversations and outbursts is not unlike some strange form of torture.

My wires are crossed and I must hold on for four more months without 1) going crazy, 2) making some strange, primal outburst of frustration in the office, 3) deciding not to shave/wash/wear clothes in the office out of laziness and frustration, 4) going AWOL, and 5) all of the above.

Now I understand a little more about how so many immigrants must feel.

No comments: