Saturday, May 28, 2005

There's something a bit bizarre about leaving for yet another new home. With all the communities I have lived in and with I feel an awkward sense of never having completely resolved any of them. Loose strings or something. Perhaps one just can't completely resolve any place, experience, community. There are still many many people that I have met and would love to meet again; old friends who I wish I could see more and people I met just briefly. Then there are all the dogs I have made friends with, but they are more easy going about the coming and going of friends and life. It would obviously be tedious to try to stay in touch with everyone (especially certain friends who share a very particular alma mater and who have to make harsh comments about this blog because they have to interpret it in a negative way even though the whole point is to have this blog make staying in touch easier... ha!) and tedium has always been near the top of my list of things to avoid. So... I move on and on. Moving creates its own kind of tedium that will someday, perhaps, be resolved by some sort of beautiful stasis in some sort of beautiful place if I can make that happen.

Beautiful stasis? To me this is, practically speaking, an oxymoron. But perhaps someday that aspect of the phrase will transform or disappear. I am looking forward to the mysterious land that lies ahead. I believe that I will find cultures like no other I have seen before and peoples who know how to live in ways that I have never dreamed. I want to absorb the wisdom of people who have found beautiful stasis.

If you are confused about what I mean by stasis, then you are probably right to be. I don't mean a complete standstill. No, that would be stupid. I just mean a kind of geography, time, and identity balance with less of the free-for-all in all directions that my life has been for the last ten or so years. But for now I could use perhaps a bit more of the old falling in all directions. In me gulliver...

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